Globes Best Dressed

Impressed: MVPs

Davis
If you saw The Help, you know Viola Davis did a fantastic job but looked about 60. At the Globes, she looked fresh, young and rocked up. Most Impressive.
Danes
I usually like what Claire Danes wears (that might be because I adore her hubby, Hugh Dancy). But she does tend to play it safe. Her dress at the GG was nothing but fabulous.
Mara
Rooney Mara seems to have completely changed her personality, along with her looks for the role as Lisbeth Salander. Whatever she’s done, she looks gorgeous &she worked it in that gorgeous black gown.
Biel
A lot of people hated Jessica Biel’s lacy, cream confection. I was not one of them. I thought she looked darling and different. Plus, did you see her strut in that thing?

Well Played: Played it safe and it served them well.

Witherspoon, Vergara, Jolie, Kidman – all in figure-flattering silhouettes with great hair and makeup.

Unimpressed: Disappointed

Chastain
I’m really into Jessica Chastain. I keep routing for her but she continually disappoints me. I would rather have seen her in an outfit from The Help.
Kunis
Mila Kunis looked so great all last season. The glimpse of her nipple was the most exciting thing about this dismal dress.
Deschanel
I want to like Zooey Deschanel but I just can’t. And to quote the Eagles, I can’t tell you why. I can tell you I have no idea what she wore to the Globes because her hair was absolutely HORRIFYING.

I Expected More From

Portman
Natalie Portman
This is basically the first time we’ve seen Natalie on the red carpet in a year. The dress/hair are boring and she obviously has a great body… I’m disappointed.
Williams
I absolutely love Michelle Williams. Therefore, I think I hold her to a higher standard. I think she looks darling but I wish she looked phenomenal.
Winslet
Kate is another favorite of mine. I hate this dress, it doesn’t fit and certainly doesn’t do anything for her lovely figure.
Gosling

Where the F was he?
photos via vulture

Met Ball Judgement

Ok. I wasn’t that impressed. In fact, I was severely disappointed.  Step it up people! All the gold (Kate, Salma, Elizabeth Banks, Claire Danes, SJP, Veronica Mars, Bar Rafaeli, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth ) was boring. I felt like anything new or modern was a rarity. All the sequins invoked prom. Read on at your own risk…it gets pretty ugly. I’m not usually this mean to my favorite models & celebs! Go here for the full coverage.

STYLE WINNERS!

Style winner: Doutzen Kroes. Simple, fresh, flattering.

Style Winner: Diane Kruger – this is probably due to my personal positive bias

Style Winner: Ashley Olsen. Gorgeous. Different than anything I’ve seen her in.

Style Winner: Freaking Sandra Lee from “Semi-homade” showed up a bunch of folks. And what was she doing there?

Style Winner: Gisele, because what else would she do with that body?

Style Winner – Amy Adams, because I rarely like what she wears and I like this.

Style Winners: Angela Lindvall & Karlie Kloss – this is gold done well (on breathing mannequins)

Style Winner: Hilary Rhoda – classic, chic, short – white done right.

STYLE LOSERS!!!

Barbara Walters – you deserve to be spanked for this

Taylor Swift – your makeup looks fug and you’re supposed to be a Cover Girl. The only thing worse than the makeup is the dress/hair.

Emma Stone, you are so pretty girl! Remember what you wore to the golden globes? This atrocity made me forget.

EMMA STONE photo | Emma Stone

Alexa Chung – I grow weary of you and your quirkiness

I literally made the exact same face as Serena when I saw this photo

Ashley Greene- I’ve seen that dress before but your hair looks nice.

GAAAAH Nicole Richie, the hair! the sleeve cut-outs! eeek

NICOLE RICHIE photo | Nicole Richie

Lucy Liu – Career damaging

Sarah Burton, are you freaking kidding? I’m trying to conjur up some kind of saying like “if you can’t do, teach” but I don’t think it works in this situation.

Fergie – one of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen. It also looks like you have jaundice. You might want to have that checked out.

Eva Mendes – terrible.

Ginnifer Goodwin – nice try

Michelle – you rarely do wrong in my eyes. But this dress makes your arms look big. We all know your arms aren’t big.

Penelope – boring, boring, boring

Rashida Jones – ew

It’s hard to say “hanous” on the same line as Miranda Kerr but somehow it works in this sitch.

Demi Moore wore a fascinator! She’s gotta get props for that.

Is that feather pouf attached to ERW somehow? UPDATE: I’ve realized it’s not attached to ERW, but is attached to Florence Welch. ERW – you stay in style losers for standing close to Flo Welch (I still love your music Flo & the machine but let’s keep fashion and friendship separate, k?)

I literally almost threw up in my mouth when I saw this creation on Carolyn Murphy, who is typically so effortlessly lovely

Ri-Ri, I’m kindof over you looking naked but not really being naked, not to mention the red hair. Find a new schtick.

RIHANNA photo | Rihanna

That’s all I got folks! How did you feel about the lack of fashion on this most fashionable night?

All photos via The Cut