Met Ball Judgement

Ok. I wasn’t that impressed. In fact, I was severely disappointed.  Step it up people! All the gold (Kate, Salma, Elizabeth Banks, Claire Danes, SJP, Veronica Mars, Bar Rafaeli, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth ) was boring. I felt like anything new or modern was a rarity. All the sequins invoked prom. Read on at your own risk…it gets pretty ugly. I’m not usually this mean to my favorite models & celebs! Go here for the full coverage.

STYLE WINNERS!

Style winner: Doutzen Kroes. Simple, fresh, flattering.

Style Winner: Diane Kruger – this is probably due to my personal positive bias

Style Winner: Ashley Olsen. Gorgeous. Different than anything I’ve seen her in.

Style Winner: Freaking Sandra Lee from “Semi-homade” showed up a bunch of folks. And what was she doing there?

Style Winner: Gisele, because what else would she do with that body?

Style Winner – Amy Adams, because I rarely like what she wears and I like this.

Style Winners: Angela Lindvall & Karlie Kloss – this is gold done well (on breathing mannequins)

Style Winner: Hilary Rhoda – classic, chic, short – white done right.

STYLE LOSERS!!!

Barbara Walters – you deserve to be spanked for this

Taylor Swift – your makeup looks fug and you’re supposed to be a Cover Girl. The only thing worse than the makeup is the dress/hair.

Emma Stone, you are so pretty girl! Remember what you wore to the golden globes? This atrocity made me forget.

EMMA STONE photo | Emma Stone

Alexa Chung – I grow weary of you and your quirkiness

I literally made the exact same face as Serena when I saw this photo

Ashley Greene- I’ve seen that dress before but your hair looks nice.

GAAAAH Nicole Richie, the hair! the sleeve cut-outs! eeek

NICOLE RICHIE photo | Nicole Richie

Lucy Liu – Career damaging

Sarah Burton, are you freaking kidding? I’m trying to conjur up some kind of saying like “if you can’t do, teach” but I don’t think it works in this situation.

Fergie – one of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen. It also looks like you have jaundice. You might want to have that checked out.

Eva Mendes – terrible.

Ginnifer Goodwin – nice try

Michelle – you rarely do wrong in my eyes. But this dress makes your arms look big. We all know your arms aren’t big.

Penelope – boring, boring, boring

Rashida Jones – ew

It’s hard to say “hanous” on the same line as Miranda Kerr but somehow it works in this sitch.

Demi Moore wore a fascinator! She’s gotta get props for that.

Is that feather pouf attached to ERW somehow? UPDATE: I’ve realized it’s not attached to ERW, but is attached to Florence Welch. ERW – you stay in style losers for standing close to Flo Welch (I still love your music Flo & the machine but let’s keep fashion and friendship separate, k?)

I literally almost threw up in my mouth when I saw this creation on Carolyn Murphy, who is typically so effortlessly lovely

Ri-Ri, I’m kindof over you looking naked but not really being naked, not to mention the red hair. Find a new schtick.

RIHANNA photo | Rihanna

That’s all I got folks! How did you feel about the lack of fashion on this most fashionable night?

All photos via The Cut